so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
