If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
