And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
