i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
