My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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