Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
