You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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