So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize