I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize