im drinking this country out of the recession.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
