Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize