I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dick very happy bro
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
