what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
