even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
