This girl is more easily done than said...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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