I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
