Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
