and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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