That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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