i need an iv and a liver transplant
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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