Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
