you guys were way drunker than both of me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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