I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
