What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
