Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
