i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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