Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
