Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize