I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
