So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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