btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
