It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
