I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
