Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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