brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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