how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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