I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
