ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
