Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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