I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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