'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
