I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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