$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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