This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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