I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
