note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
