I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
