I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
