If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You took a bar mat shot.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
