Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
