Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
