Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
