There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
