We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
