I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Holy sore nipples Batman
Randomize
