she looked like the bat from fern gully.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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