Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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