i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
