just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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