They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
