Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
