No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
