I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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