last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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