Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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