yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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