2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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