I think I died a long time ago.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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