Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
