I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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