these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize