Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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