it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
