hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
