So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
