Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
