We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
