We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
