In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
